1101
College Ave.
Manhattan, KS
66502
785.565.9420
I wasn't exposed to the transforming power of Christ's gospel until I was in college. Before that time I was living a life that would have probably seemed very satisfying, adventurous, and fun to many of my peers but was unfulfilling. My life was very "me-centered." Achieving my goals, fulfilling my plans, making use of my gifts, working for my future, and satisfying my desires were all that was important to me. This adversely affected how I related with people because I saw them as either a help or a hindrance. Specifically, in high school I lived for excellence in academics, thinking that meaning and fulfillment would be found there. I was very proud of my advanced classes and my A-plus average. Athletics was also important to me, especially football, of which I found significance in being captain my senior year. My coaches even gave me the highest honor that could be given to any graduating athlete, the Most Inspirational Athlete Award, yet athletics also failed to provide the meaning and significance my heart ached for. In high school I also lived for a very serious two-year dating relationship, but that ended when it no longer provided the fulfillment and satisfaction I was looking for. After that I turned to friends, partying, and dating relationships. This lifestyle was only intensified as I moved into one of the most social fraternity houses at Kansas State University. I was so looking forward to going to college, thinking of how much potential it had to give significance and meaning to the rest of life, but by the end of my first year, I felt very let down, lost and confused about what I was really there for. I was living in an alcoholic haze from weekend to weekend, justified by not being as bad as "the guy down the hall," yet could not see a way out. At times it felt like my life was falling apart. My sophomore year wasn't much different until late one night a guy named Joel Johnson showed up talking about Jesus. I stood off in the background thinking I knew everything already, but I was struck with his willingness to just hang out, interact with each of us and not be judgmental. One of the first times I listened to him, he explained Christ's saving work on the cross by illustrating a verse from the Bible, what I now know to be 2 Corinthians 5:21: He [God] made Him who knew no sin [Jesus Christ] to be sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him [Jesus]. The message of Christ loving me enough to become all of my sins, take God's wrath on the cross in my place, and thus place His perfect righteousness on me was very intriguing. That was the start of a three-year investigation of the Bible to learn just who Jesus really was. During this time though I was still living the fraternity lifestyle to its fullest but feeling more and more empty with all the experiences despite various leadership positions, offices, academics, parties, and dating relationships that I thought were supposed to satisfy. By the end of my senior year of college, I was very frustrated with it all and incredibly hungry for truth and meaning for my life since college had definitely failed to provide what I had so anticipated and longed for. That summer God stepped into my life and made it very clear that He is real, He is alive, He is true, and most importantly He wanted me. I gladly turned away from all that I had chased for so long and turned towards the God of the Bible and His Son Jesus Christ. By faith I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in June of 2002 and have been joyfully following Him according to the Bible ever since. At this point I was probably more shocked than anybody. The more I read, the more I learned, and the more I understood, the more I began to feel amazingly content and satisfied with the whole of life. God was changing me from the inside out. I never decided to give up what I was living for as much as I simply lost interest in pursuing those things that were so unfulfilling and shameful. Most amazing though is the forgiveness I have found in the cross for all the pain of a life lived so selfishly for 22 years. There were times that I felt like I could never forgive myself for some of my bad decisions, but then someone asked me why I should have a higher standard than God. The closer I came to Jesus the more I understood His unconditional love and forgiveness. I wept uncontrollably the first time I realized that I was truly forgiven, and it was the most freeing experience I have ever known. That is the life I now live in Jesus Christ. It is His love that sustains me because it has freed me from all the pain and guilt of who I was and allows me to finally feel like life is worth living. There were and still are problems and troubles - I'm a work in progress - but now life has meaning, purpose, and hope. In John 10:10, Jesus says that He "came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." There is simply no better way to describe my new life with Jesus Christ as the center and Lord of it all ............................. |
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